Hot Fuzz

Last night ended up being really exciting! I was supposed to go to bed early as I had a presentation at eight o'clock in the morning the following day, but things didn't quite go as planned.

I had two tickets to the premier of Hot Fuzz but wasn't sure if I would go since my date flaked on me. Then suddenly a pack of friends called and wondered if I would like to go to this really cool movie premier. Suddenly there was a whole gang going so I decided - What the heck. I'll be home by eleven. I had no idea what I was getting myself into obviously. This night ended nowhere near eleven o'clock.

We get to the movie and I guess a little review is in order considering all. It was a great fuggin movie! The best part was when the super cop was to disarm a little old lady and surprised the whole audience by dropkicking her in the face. It was so wrong it was right. It is the same guys who did "Shaun of the Dead" that made this flick and if you haven't seen SotD, make sure that you do. But it helps to be a bit toasted when watching them both.

After the movie the guys convinced me to go for "refreshments" at the afterparty that the organizers held at Solidaritet. So ok! Just one refreshment! Just one! I have to get up early tomorrow but.. I'll still be home be twelve so its still cool.

When we get there I went to order the first round (yeah I already dropped the one beer thought there) and discovered that the bar was free! Unfuggin believable.. I have to go to bed early and its a open bar for one hour.. But I'll be home by one so its still cool I guess. That would leave me with six full hours of sleep. I can do that.

When the beer started flowing a friend and me got into a heated argument where I didn't agree with his approach to meeting women. He would go up to women and ask them if they were a model and I felt that this sort of only made him come across as a nice daft guy who only tells her something that she already knows - That she looks good. But he wanted to prove me wrong and went for another target while me and F stood at the bar enjoying the show. Casanova actually did a half decent job but she never really got into him. I decided to get to the bottom of this and went to get her opinion on the matter.

I step up, Casanova introduces me , he heads towards the bathroom and leaves me with her. The first thing I notice is that she has a ring on her ring finger, but I can never remember which hand is the real deal and I wasn't out to meet women so I decided to let it go. We fluff for a minute or two and then I ask her about the model question and she tells me it was flattering but it never really got her interested in him, but he seemed nice. The dreaded "nice" word.. Often soon to be followed by the "lets just be friends" speech.

Then a old spark ignited within me.. I could feel him coming. Labereo Max was on his way. Labero Max is one of my alter egos who is really charming but mischievous to the core and he decided there and then that he would take over for the night. So Labero started to do the talking, starting with the soon to become classic - "No no its cool! But I would never have asked you something like that. It is obvious that you're not a model" and her jaw just dropped. After that we were best of buds and did stupid little magic tricks for each other. She was getting married by the way and now I know that it is the left hand which is the real deal.

The clock was now 2:30 AM and the three of us decided that it was a good idea to get something to eat before we went home, as it would make sure that I wouldn't be hungover when I woke. They have obviously not been reading my blog. We approached the wonderful golden arches of McDonalds and knew salvation was close. But who knew that we would have to go through one last trial before we could get home and remember.. Labero was still at the helm.

After ordering and waiting for our food Labero heard someone right behind him giving really condescending remarks to one our friends. Labero turns around, leans up against the desk and looks at the guy with a gleaming smile. The guy was scrawny little kid with a perfect backslick and the most annoying upperclass accent you'll ever find. Labero was thinking of hurting this brat, but he also noticed the five brat friends who were backing up little Ms Backslick with really stupid smiles. His pack was enjoying the show.

Ms Blackslick asked Labero if he wanted something but Labero just kept on smiling, not breaking eye contact. Ms Backslick turned around towards his friends and said loudly "Haha! Look at this guy! He think he is someone and look at that ragged old jacket. Why don't you go buy some new clothes! You look like a bum!" It was so on.. Me and Labero haven't been in a fight for ten years but now we were quite considering it as decent alternative. You can mess with me and Labero to an extent just don't touch our friends. But since they were six in total (just one too many) and we have a healing broken jaw, we decided to take the high road and just verbally bash this little douche. And most importantly, its seriously uncool to fight.. Write that down.

Now Labero went back to sleep and as I am the more evil one of the two, I took control again. Ms Backslick grabbed my jacket to show some detail that he didn't liked to his friends and I decided that now was as good time as any. I flung my arms up with a large movement while saying "HEY!" holding my arms like he was pointing a gun at me so I wasn't projecting any aggression. He misread the movement and thought I was about to hit him so he jumped back with a jolt and I had his full attention. Still keeping eye contact I explained very loudly and jovially so all his friends could hear "You know.. I'm not comfortable enough with my sexuality to have you touching me like that" and they all burst out laughing, all except Ms Backslick.

Then he gives me a little push and I start again "Hey! What did I just say? I'm flattered but you're really not my type!" and his friends burst out laughing again even louder. It is interesting how quickly the wind can change. Then saved by the bell our food was all done and we left to go to our table, leaving the pack behind.

Got into bed at 3:30 and it was a miracle that I stayed awake for the entire class. But a great night though!