Today I was eating out with a couple of friends having a blast when it hit me. I absolutely love telling stories. As we all traversed down memory lane sharing funny anecdotes I started to think that this is what I should do for you guys. So this will be the start of an ongoing series of stories here in the blog with great old tales from my life.
"The Cruise"
Almost everyone I know has a guy in their social circle that really is that guy. He is the guy that always somehow end up in the most precarious situations that you would otherwise believe that the twilight zone would have to be responsible for to happen. I adore this guy. He is always a blast to be around but sometimes.. Sort of goes of the far end. And here follows the story of what happened on the infamous Silja Line cruise. As I'm writing this I am not sure if I should be censuring this story. In a worst case scenario just add 30 percent more flavour to the story and you'll get the picture.
The whole thing started out with a girl that I was dating invited me and C to join her and her four girlfriends on a cruise. I thought what the hell, migth be fun. It's strange when you can be so right and so wrong at the same time.
Anyway! Of some strange reason this ship felt like it had to depart eight o'clock in the morning. At least three hours too early, by my definition, when it is your day off. But we meet up with the girls, shake paws, board the ship and start looking for our two cabins. Within an hour we had got our supplies from the liqueur store and starting drinking. It was beautiful. I had my first shot of vodka before I had breakfast and this is basically where the twilight zone started to come down on us. From here on this is what I decided to share with you guys.
To start of with: If you ever have had the idea to have sex in one those playroom "sea of colorful balls". Just don't. It is not worth it in anyway, not even as a funny story.
The second interesting thing that I learned was that the poor people who clean these boats should be given a medal and psychiatrist. A nice little surprise was bestowed upon us when we found a large steaming pile of puke exactly outside our door. We actually had to jump over it to get out.
C started to freak out quite early when he had one of his great ideas. This one involved that people who is standing should be laying down. The people in question did not have a choice in the matter either. It was amazing that someone didn't kill him but you sort of can't get mad at him. It's like being mad at a puppy for biting your finger.
But anyway! We hadn't seen C in a couple of hours and started to worry so we sent out a search party. About an hour later we head back to our cabin and of course he is right where we started.. But he is not alone. There are eleven little terrified looking kids and all with a beer tightly gripped in their hands. Then C when he sees us he flashes a huge smile and exclaims "THESE ARE MY LITTLE GERMAN BUDDIES!". They were all German konfermanders (going through their second baptism). How the hell did he find these kids?
But the best part was when we finally got back to Stockholm. Me and the girls were waiting at the exit, where we probably looked like we had been to hell and back and bought the t-shirt. But then finally C comes slowly walking towards looking extremely grumpy. He doesn't even acknowledge our presence. Then out of nowhere this really old skangly looking lady comes walking out and yells out with a really heavy finish accent "C! There you are!" and C just lights up! They embrace and then she proceeds to give him back his wallet, ID, car keys and Walkman. Seriously.. I don't like to curse but.. What the fuck?
To this day I have never found out what happened between the old lady and C.
EDIT: I am not happy. I feel terrible even. From this day one I promise never to censor a story again. It is all the way or no fuggin way at all.
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