Least I Could Do

Oh man.. A friend of mine recommended this little strip to me a while back and I've been hooked ever since. Just wonderfully truly male chauvinist humor all the way.

http://www.leasticoulddo.com/

Business Idea: The Date Brick

What a beautiful idea! Came to me from nowhere and it's going to make me filthy rich.

Admit it!? It is a pretty funny gift for someone. There on your birthday, opening presents in front of the whole family - "Oooh an extra heavy present must be something nice!” The family gathers closer to see what this wondrous thing could be and POOOF! Your very own “Date brick”!

Now I just have to decide whether to make it out of rubber or just start sending out real bricks. No matter what, they would of course all be equipped with a funny little tag on them with pictures explaining how to properly use the “Date Brick” and as a safety reference it would say “With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility” Naah, real bricks would be funnier.

This product is not to be confused with the future product “The Rape Brick” whose patent and copy infringement is still pending.

PS: Thankfully a great lot of you won't understand what I consider so funny about this post and if you are one of those people be grateful to know that there is yet still some hope left for the world.

Comfort

I've noticed that I am an enormously comfortable man. I love Japanese food but am appalled by the inconvenience of sitting down on the floor and eating. Your knees hurt, your gut is pushed up in your chest, the back starts aching after a while and I just can’t for the life of figure out a way I can sit without looking absolutely like the uncoolest, most uncomfortable man in the world. This of course bothers the hell out of me as I have a certain persona to uphold.

This phenomenon is not just confined to most pricey Japper restaurants but also at other seemingly “nice” occasions. For some reason someone invented “the picnic”. I would personally invent the time machine just to go back in time and kill him. I don’t care what possible butterfly effects this might cause because he must die. Everyone seem to enjoy the idea of picnics but they always seem to forget the horrid field of bird shit (where you have to try to find the spot with the least amount of bird shit of course), the insects, that’s sole purpose seem the bring the joy out of the whole experience by committing suicide in your food, and finally it is back to whole sitting down on the ground to eat..

Same thing with standing up while eating and here we have an entire nation to blame, Italy. Why? Dear god why? Was the investment of some proper chairs too much to ask? - “Ooooh we’re in so much of a hurry we have stand up when we eat, possibly in order to throw ourselves to the ground when a mad Swede tries to bomb us to bits. So we have to be springy” – It annoys me have places appear trendy and more business like because of the lack of chairs.

If you make me stand up or sit on the floor to eat at your establishment - I say “Fuck you my good sir” and go home and work on my time machine.