Failure Looms in the Bushes

Personal failure is something that absolutely terrifies me. I hate being bad at things and this has led me to sometimes do stuff as sitting at 3 AM in the morning reading advanced tactics on thumb wrestling. Did you know that every three turn combination has its own name?

"Haha! I'll just use The Swooping Eagle on you and your puny thumb!" This really happens.. Except that he of course would be thinking this as his opponent would be well versed to know the exact counter to the "Swooping Eagle", probably called "Buckshot Extravaganza" or something.

But back to the point! Failure sucks, unless it happens to random people you don't know. Because then it is pretty damn hilarious. So I give to you: http://failblog.org/

Facebook 2.0

I have a terrible secret to admit. I like the new facebook..

Ok, don't start throwing rocks at me! I just don't mind a bit of change. The only reason why people are objecting is that they were so used with the old, they never even thought how nice something new could be.

I just hope that you got over that whole "e-mail" business as well. Like who would want to write electronic letters? Preposterous!

Change every "Britney" to "Facebook 2.0" and enjoy the video! OK, it won't make total sense but it still made me laugh. So fuck you, you critic.

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

Voice

Recently I've been involved in a job where I'm speaking a lot. This entails harassing poor unsuspecting people by phoning them up in the evening and making them appear at a meeting they didn't know they needed to go to in the first place.

The only reason why Satan hasn't emerged to claim my soul already is because: First, it is not all that bad attending one of these meetings and the second reason being that I am really well paid for doing this. Beelzebub understands how important it is to have a good revenue flow. How could I otherwise afford all the booze and hookers that guarantee my place in hell?

But when calling people up, there is a short moment where you can hear your own voice in the headset. This is absolutely freaking me out and being an over analytical person, I've put way too much thought down into this. E v e r y time I hear my voice I wonder why people don't regularly come up and smack me up my head and tell me "Just be quiet you terrible person. Can't you see that you are scaring the children?” My voice is just gruesome, too squeaky and nasal. But no one else seems to mind strangely enough.. The other day I actually got a compliment for my voice over the phone and I almost accused the potential customer for being an atrocious liar. The thing is this though. To this day I can't recall meeting a person and really thought to myself "Ooooh, that guy had a really odd voice. What a silly person. I will go home and blog about his silly silly voice". But now of course I am hoping to meet this person. The joy it would bring me, to laugh and point my finger at that someone.

Until then, the thing that makes me feel better is that almost everyone hates the sound of their own voice.

I am Maximilian, hear me roar.